Monday, June 21, 2010

Amazed

I continue to be amazed at the overwhelming response to last week's child-free post, and how many other child-free women came forward with support and similar stories. If you didn't catch it in the comments, I wanted to point you to this article by my friend and fellow blogger Fawn Fitter: Are You Being Denied the Best Birth Control?

Being denied a tubal ligation is far more common than you might think; if you are in this situation, you absolutely do not have to put up with it! Write to the hospital board or even fire your doctor; you have every right to call the shots on this important decision. And if it wasn't already obvious from all the comments that are still coming in, you are NOT alone!

On to the outfit. This one was a lot harder to put together than I thought it would be. I'd been wanting to pair this fun orange and burgundy skirt with navy, and originally I thought I'd finish the outfit by emphasizing the orange in the skirt, since orange and navy are such a great combination. But when it came down to it I didn't have the right orange items to make it work, so I repeated the burgundy instead.

The outfit is so colorful that I felt I should keep the bottom half as monochromatic as I could, but I threw a curve in there by choosing patterned tights instead of solid.

Top: Red Dress Shoppe
Obi belt: Sunhee Moon
Skirt: Skunkfunk
Tights: Biella
Shoes: Naot

24 comments:

Lemondrop Marie said...

Love the way this outfit came together, the tights and skirt together are smashing!
Marie @ Lemondrop ViNtAge

Lynne said...

I just read that article on tubal ligation, and was astounded. I've never heard of anyone here in Australia having that problem, certainly not anyone who's actually had a child (I can't speak about the childless, I don't personally know anyone in that position who's sought a ligation). When I was 32, after I'd weaned my second child I went and got my tubes tied with no dramas at all. I was treated like an intelligent person who knew what she was doing. As it should be.

Sheila said...

I absolutely LOVE this outfit, Audi! The textured tights were the right call - I can't imagine anything else looking as good!

The burgundy really emphasises the skirt pattern.

Alex said...

I loooove this oufit! My favourite colour combination are blues with reds. That skirt is so great and it works beautifully with the tights! 10 thumbs up!:)

Megan said...

The blue blouse really sets the warm colors off. Those tights are totally amazing~

CoudreMODE said...

Unfortunately the reluctance of the medical community to support sterilization as an informed choice appears to be mostly driven by a fear of being sued rather than a desire to serve patients. But - have you considered a Mirena IUD? I'm 52 and have one for mostly menopause relief but I gotta say it's been a godsend. IUD's have advanced quite a bit fromm the old Dalcon Shield days and are quite safe. The hormones dosages are less than the those of birth control pills.

Diana said...

I love that colors in this outfit! That skirt is fantastic!

La Historiadora de Moda said...

I've never considered a tubal ligation, but if I do and am refused I will take action.

I love the obi belt and tights with this!

Brianna said...

For anyone having trouble getting approved for a tubal in the Pittsburgh area, look up Dr. Narcisse with Armstrong County Memorial Hospital/ABC Women's Care. She's a wonderful doctor, and approved my tubal at 21.

It scared me so much that it might have been refused when I asked. I had been scared for weeks preparing, and when I did talk to her, she asked me once if I was sure, explained the options, and scheduled the surgery. It was amazing.

Best of luck to anyone else looking for it. If you need help (for example, if you're younger and want some testimonials for your doctors, I'd be glad to put mine forward), please do let me know.
bravocharliesierra at gmail.com

Brianna said...

oh also I love your outfit, Audi!

Kelly said...

I love your burgundy obi!

I'm on the fence about permanent sterilization. While I do think everyone has the right to make their own decisions about their own bodies, I *also* know that young people often regret getting their tubes tied. I don't think the doctor should have *required* that woman to get a psychiatric evaluation, but I don't think it would have been a bad idea for the woman to do that of her own accord. NOT to prove that she's not crazy, but just to make sure that she has fully thought it through and understands the repercussions. The doctors and psychiatrists have dealt with people who totally regretted it later, so it's no wonder they're a little gun-shy. Also, even if you've been seeing the same gyno for years, chances are s/he doesn't really know you that well personally. I've been with my gyno for 10 years now but she sees me for about 20 minutes a year. Even with the doctors I see most often, I see them for an hour or two a year, tops. That's hardly enough to know whether I, Kelly, am sane and thoughtful enough to make these decisions for myself. It might be a blow to the ego but the fact is that for doctors, most patients are just medical charts and probabilities/statistics. If a doctor refused to give me a tubal, I don't think it's a personal insult. She barely knows me. I could be the wisest person in the world or a total dingbat and she really has no idea. She's just acting on experience and statistics.

Also, I don't think it's a woman's issue. I read an article a while ago about how men in their 20s and 30s are having similar problems getting these procedures done. So whether or not it's wrong to deny someone a procedure that they want, I don't think it's gender discrimination.

(By the way I'm in the "babies are not for me" crowd)

Carmen said...

The second pic really shows the navy top off better. Lovely combo!

Side note, being denied a tubal ligation is such total archaic bullshit. I can't believe (but I can!) there are a-hole docs out there still practicing in that mindset. Of course there was that pharmacist at a Target that wouldn't sell birth control so I guess there's a-hole men (and women) in power everywhere trying to make decisions for women like we're children.

Kelly said...

I just read what I wrote and I wanted to come back and clarify: I do NOT think that women or men should be refused permanent sterilization, but I absolutely understand why doctors might be wary of doing it and think it's not the greatest idea ever. And while I don't believe it should be refused, I understand why some doctors do refuse.

Emma at Daily Clothes Fix said...

I just love the patterned tights with that skirt, so wonderful.

Traci said...

Like many others, I also love those tights with your outfit - I probably never would have thought to pair those together myself! Love the belt also :)

I agree with Kelly regarding understanding why doctors refuse to perform a tubal on young women. Not that I agree with it, and I'd also be extremely irritated if I asked for one and couldn't get it, but I do understand the doctor's point of view. After all, in the litigious culture of the US, people sue for MUCH less than that and malpractice insurance is already totally ridiculous (just another part of our screwed up healthcare system). And I've personally known at least 5 people who were adamantly childfree in their 20's and 30's, only to eventually have a baby as they neared age 40. People definitely change, so I can see why doctors try to push a non-permanent option on women, rather than sterilization. It sucks, but if it has happened even once in a doctor's career (has probably happened MANY times since I've known several and am not a gyno!), then they are probably going to refuse sterilization for anyone who hasn't had a child after than unfortunately.

On the other hand, I feel it's ridiculous to refuse to perform a tubal on someone who has had children (even if it's only one child)!

Fawn said...

I actually did a lot more research than ended up in the published piece, so let me toss in this additional information:

In order to get a tubal, you have to sign an informed consent form. This form (which in my state, at least, you have to sign a full week before surgery) says in very simple language that you understand you have asked for a surgery that will make you unable to get pregnant, and that you are undergoing the surgery of your own free will. Once you've signed that, I doubt any lawyer would take your case if you changed your mind and then tried to sue. Even if this is a litigious country, it is damn hard to sue someone for doing something you asked them to do, in writing, with full understanding of the consequences.

I couldn't find a single legal case (and a couple of lawyers were helping me look) in which a doctor was sued for performing elective surgery on someone who signed an informed consent form. I did, on the other hand, find some "unlawful pregnancy" cases in which women sued doctors for getting pregnant after having their tubes tied!

Audi said...

CoudreMODE: It's not an issue for me anymore since I finally DID get the surgery; however I asked for it at age 23 and didn't get it until age 35 (3 doctors later) -- so that's 12 years of hormones I didn't need coursing through my veins and making me a moody bitch. The hormone birth control was not pleasant for me and I really wanted off of it, but other methods just didn't seem reliable enough and I didn't want to take any chances. At the time I didn't really realize that it was not my doctor's choice to make, and I wish I'd advocated harder on my own behalf.

Kelly and Traci: I can certainly understand the hesitation of doctors to perform a tubal without first consulting with their patient, or even asking her to think about it for a period of months before scheduling the surgery; however it's also maddening that the same people wouldn't think twice about giving a woman fertility pills so that she CAN get pregnant. I think it's the double standard that annoys me the most, as well as the fact that a medically-trained professional can't comprehend that certain women do not have any maternal desire. As a scientist I can't respect that attitude, and anyway it should be obvious after talking with someone how serious they are about not wanting kids and whether they understand the permanence of the procedure. But you're right that even one case of a woman changing her mind could skew a doctor's perspective forever.

Fawn: Thanks for the additional info! I was just wondering this morning if there have been any women who, forced to use a less effective method of birth control after being denied a tubal, have gotten pregnant and then sued their doctor. I could see that being held up in court much more readily than a case of someone suing after they'd had a tubal and regretted it. And what if the unwanted pregnancy resulted in an abortion? Then you've got emotional distress and/or pain and suffering damages added in; it seems like a better bet all around just to do what patients ask for, albeit after making sure they understand the consequences. Funny that so many doctors choose to make it so difficult.

Brande said...

Those tights are to die for!

Carmen said...

So I re-read my comment and I tend to sound pretty crass and I'm sorry about that :) I really am sane (says the crazy girl).

One thing I would like to mention is that tubal ligation sounds like a fabulous solution, but I've actually had personal experience with someone has had a lot of hormonal issues since the procedure. You might Google search "post tubal ligation syndrome".

Also, I second the comment about Mirena. I have two close friends on it who have had wonderful experiences. One friend has a period every 3 months, one still has very light monthly periods. My friend who has had a tubal ligation still has monthly periods that are actually very heavy and intense PMS symptoms.

Carmen said...

Oops! We posted at the same time I think:) I see that you've had the surgery already and it sounds like it was a good option for you!

Audi said...

Carmen: Interesting; I hadn't heard of the post-tubal syndrome before. Just goes to show there's no one right approach that works for everyone! And I never thought for a minute that you were crazy. :-)

Anonymous said...

According to studies conducted by the Journal of Reproductive Medicine and the CDC, incidence of "regret" about tubals (which did not necessarily indicate a desire for reversal but encompassed many factors) were significantly lower among women who had never had children and had been sterilized. Women who had children and were then sterilized were statistically more likely to regret their decision in some fashion.

By the way, the number one factor for regret was neither age nor number of children. It was conflict with partner pre-sterilization--revenge tubals.

In a ten-year study, regret rates were a staggering sixteen percent lower among childfreen women, and that group included women who'd required hysterectomies, etc. for medical reasons and may not necessarily have been childfreen by choice.

And Fawn is right--it's damn near impossible to sue in that situation and as far as I or anyone I've discussed this with has found, no one ever has done so successfully.

Food for thought.

Emily Kennedy said...

Really excellent color mix.

SHAMPALOVE said...

love your style !!1 it's difficult to wear this kind of colours an patterns but you do it so well !
props !
ciao !