Wednesday, December 16, 2009

True F@#!ing Story



Today I'm doing something that deeply offends my Virgo sensibilities: I am posting an outfit out of chronological order; that is, I'm skipping over several days' worth of older outfits in order to bring you this one hot off the presses. And why is that, you ask? Well, it's all because of our favorite foulmouthed blogger and jewelery designer extraordinaire Wendy Brandes, who is responsible for these:


I never swear. I f@#!ing promise.

Yes, the glorious Wendy Brandes for Francis swear rings are mine at last! I coveted them for months, stalked them and obsessed over them, was haunted by them first on Kingdom of Style and then by Wendy herself, and finally broke down and bought them last week rather than waiting until after the holidays as I'd originally planned. And I have to say, I'm really fucking glad I did! Pretty much as soon as I put them on my hand and headed into my first meeting, someone promptly noticed all the flashing silver and started oohing and ahhing. Soon the whole team was admiring them. Yes, MY coworkers, noticing, and admiring, some seriously boundary-pushing jewelery. Go fucking figure!

Then after work, I stopped into my favorite stationary and card store to get a gift box, only to find out that the store no longer carries gift boxes of any kind. True fucking story! My response, of course, was this:



Where will I go now for all my gift box needs?


It was serendipity, I tell you. Serenfuckingdipity! So you see, I had to post this right away. Thanks Wendy; it was totally worth breaking my meticulous chronological ordering of the outfit posts for a timely showcase of your amazing creations. They garnered praise from my coworkers and gave me the perfect response to a frustrating situation, all within the span of a few hours.

I suppose I ought to tell you about the rest of my outfit too. Continuing in my ongoing outerwear feature, I'll start with the jacket. This one was selected because with the thick vest to keep me warm, all I really needed were the long sleeves. The cropped leather jacket was the perfect solution, plus, the detailing is cool enough to stand up to those fabulous rings.

Since I don't really like the feel of tucked in shirts, I used the fitted vest to give me waist definition and to balance out my proportions, which were a little off because of the length of the shirt. I also wore long socks over tights with this outfit, but the socks were only for warmth and were pulled all the way up rather than showing beneath the skirt -- and anyway, something about knee high socks with a pleated wool skirt just strikes me as waaay too schoolgirlish for a 40-year-old woman to be wearing. I just love all the socks-over-tights looks I've seen recently on Chelsea and Erin though, and I'm determined to put together one of my own.


These rings are already proving to be really handy at work. Shown here is
a remarkably easy way to say, "Get out of my office."
Shirt: Promod
Vest: Shawna Hoffman
Jacket: Skin Graft
Skirt: Banana Republic
Boots: Modern Vintage

27 comments:

WendyB said...

Oh my fucking God! These pictures are FABULOUS! Putting them on Facebook now and then you get your own post OF COURSE. I'm also really flattered that you broke your usual posting plan for me. *blushing*

Michelle said...

The rings and jacket are of course, fabulous, but I also can't believe it took me this long to notice you have a monroe piercing!

LPC said...

In this case, it's DON'T talk to the hand. Sorry, couldn't resist. Did try.

Ashe Mischief said...

You totally make my fucking days better, Audi. I adore your storytelling in this post and your fantastic pictures.

You're fucking amazing. (Also--loved your guest post at Already Pretty!)

mely said...

Ahahaha, I think this is pretty much the best outfit EVER! \o/

Eyeliah said...

wow, fab splurge.... that pic with your hand on your head is awesome. if only I could afford, maybe just the 'f' lol.

La Historiadora de Moda said...

This is seriously fucking awesome! I don't know how I missed it early! Love! Love! Love!

Ecc3ntricCynic said...

Ohmygod those are amazing.

I'm drooling over the jacket as well. Such an awesome post!

Emily Kennedy said...

Dude, isn't Chelsea a badass?

And aren't you with those incredible rings?! I'm totally glad you posted out of order. This post rocks it!

A-C said...

you are NOT fucking 40!!! I refuse to believe this. Also the closeup pic of you smiling is wicked ;)

http://lawschoolfashionista.blogspot.com/

Honeybunches of Roses said...

this is a really F@#! great post :)

Kiki said...

I love you fucking rings! Fucking fabulous! *ring envy*

Anonymous said...

Simply amazing! Also, you do NOT look 40.

Oranges And Apples said...

Hahaha, brilliant!

Jake Smith said...

Hey
This is Really Great....
keep posting....

Thanks!

Jake Smith,NY
Fashion Designer at Bride-pride.com

Christine said...

Excellent fucking post! Awesome outfit and the rings are fucking brilliant!

Sal said...

SO jealous. SO.
;)

Linda said...

This is awesome. Love the badass jacket and obscene jewelry with the ladylike skirt, especially.

Kelly said...

these are soooooo awesome

And that skirt is my dream skirt. ahhhhhh!

Chelsea said...

Hahaha reading this post put a huge grin on my face (much needed today!)... and then reading the comments was great too. All of these polite bloggers throwing around the F-bomb... I fucking love it!

And those rings are AWESOMELY AMAZING. Holy SHIT.

And I look forward to seeing some sock layering... I'm totally tickled that you referenced mine :)

Diana said...

Awesome outfit and I absolutely love the swear rings!

Sam said...

oh man! i saw those rings a while back and SO FUCKING WANTED THEM!
i will live vicariously through you!

notSupermum said...

Your co-workers seem to have been roused from their catatonic state - they have made several comments about your clothes recently! What the f@*!

Mars said...

The audacity of the rings rock! It's polite yet with a subtle fuck you AND totally clashes/mixes with that hot/prim skirt! Awesome!

Sheila said...

You are so amazing! One, loved the post at Already Pretty. Two, love this outfit on you (killer jacket, very Geiger-esque). Three, am so jealous of your Wendy B jewelry!

Okay, I still like you. But jeez, woman! :-P

The Writing Instinct said...

No O F F letter-rings for the left hand?? Only then would the message be even louder and clearer for those pesky office intruders!!

The rings are so worth you buying them earlier than you had planned...if only for your co-worker's response! I may have to invest in some as well!

What Would a Nerd Wear said...

that ring is AWESOME.